The Wonders Of Modern Technology

This may take an age to type and end up looking like a bag of spanners, but I blogged this from my mobile phone whilst waiting for my friend Julie in the pub.

Does this make me a geek? You can tell me, I can take it :-)

Weekend From Hell

If ever you wanted a demonstration of how little you have to remove from a person to make his civilised life uncivilised, this weekend was a perfect opportunity.

I went for a leaving drink or 7 on Friday night, which then branched out to the Commercial Tavern. Much hilarity, wild gossip (apparently there's two men having an affair at work, only no-one would enlighten me as to who) and drinking. I left early and caught the last Tube (such a good iccle boy lately).

I arrived home to a 4 Post-It note on my door from the guys in the basement flat below. It read "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the drains are blocked and the sewage is backing up into our bathroom. Please don't flush your loo....etc." Well that was the gist of it anyhoo.

That was Friday night and the situation hasn't changed up until now. Apparently a tanker and two gentlemen (with no sense of smell I'd say) are coming along this morning to solve the problem and relieve our nightmare. I've been walking to the local supermarket to go to the loo! I've had to shower with the plug in the bath! (I estimate I have another 3 showers left before I fill it up)

I tried to contact my property management company, but with the usual effectiveness of a UK service company, they were closed until this morning. So I have put my trust in the guys in the basement flat. Ho hum.

Yahoo! Not Serious

I had a good batch of nutty search requests this weekend. They include: 'nigerian fibre optics', 'Nice Jugs', 'Daz Flat Top Hair Download' and my personal favourite 'flat viewing person standing by bed in the middle of night'.

Love it!

Crusty Nose Syndrome

My cold/flu is abating, leaving me with just a slight cough. The only other symptom that remains is that unique skin condition brought on by constant nose wiping with mansize tissues. Annoying as it is, at least it means I'm getting better.

End Of An Era

The Café at our old office closes today. Sounds like an excuse for a drink, so I made sure my medication stops at midday today!

We're off to Shoreditch High Street for a drink or 3. I've had my Shoreditch training from Dave, so I know exactly what to wear. I wonder which paint you're meant to use to splash all over your jeans?

Why Am I At Work?

...because I feel 'bleurgh' (which is like 'ick' but with more mucus).

We're a man down at work at the moment, due to hospitalisation for a foot operation, so I really can't take any time off.

And Peter didn't win the Guardian Weblog Competition. Life is just, like, so unfair dude.

Arterial Blockage

Yet again London grinds to a halt because the RMT union says so. As if £30,000+ isn't enough for driving a Tube train, not to mention the amount of paid leave they get a year (7 or 8 weeks apparently).

However, it put a little spark in my morning routine as I had to walk to the local train station, Maryland, instead. (No, I don't why it's called that either. Maybe East Stratford is twinned with our American cousins.) The route to the train station takes you through some areas where it pays to have a cold, as the background aromas are pungent to say the least. I was glad of my snuffles.

Still, all went well and I arrived 20 minutes early for work, with the minimum of crushing on the train. I can only hope the return journey is as good.

Caffeine Day

I had trouble sleeping last night, due to the plague I have contracted so I'm functioning on about 4 hours sleep. Keep those Café Lattés coming!

No Brainer

I have always had my doubts about the astrologer in the Metro (free paper for London commuters). This scepticism was reinforced today when my stars (Aquarius) read: Travel plans are set to go askew. You think so? On the day of a Tube strike? My word it's uncanny...

May Cause Side Effects

So what the manufacturers of my flu medicine actually meant by "non-drowsy" was "wont make you sleepy but will space you out". I'm just waiting for the top of my head to unscrew and float off into orbit. Plus I have to take another dose in an hour or so.

Before all you anti-drug types berate me for taking the above, natural cures are all well and good when you can hide in bed and produce buckets of mucus, however it doesn't go down well in the world of client services.

The Hippy, Hippy Shake

It was sure I was dreaming it when the house tremored last night. It felt like someone had roughly shaken my bed. I awoke, decided my subconscious was playing tricks on me and went back to sleep. Then I get to work and read this headline.

Hoorah! I'm not mad! True, I could have been squashed flat, but I'm not mad.

Friday Night and Saturday Morning

We had another leaving do on Friday evening. Karen, one of the directors personal assistants, has left to set up a photographic studio with her husband. Dave, my ex-flatmate had also joined me in the City as he was at a loose end.

A good time was had by all...I think. Toward the end of the night things get distinctly hazy due to a surfeit of lager. Apparently, according to Dave, we left the leaving do after I'd said my farewells, and headed for the West End. I seem to remember guffawing at the size of a fellow Tube-travellers flares. We found 'Heaven' completely by accident, and it wasn't anything like I imagined it. The admission charge was a little surprising (£18) as there was some special line-up performing that night, but I couldn't tell the difference.

We caught the NightBus home to Leyton which we both fell asleep on. Luckily I roused myself just as we were heading through Leyton High Street so we didn't have to walk far. Otherwise, I think we would have ended up in Chingford. Not the ideal place to be at 5am.

Mmmm - Scaly!

The NTL drama was still unfolding on Saturday as I switched on my TV and found that, out of the 90 channels I was meant to have, I had 7. Ten minutes on the line to faults and my channels reappeared (Hoorah!) but the phoneline is still knackered. I have it on good authority that my line is ringing in the cabinet down the road rather than in my home, which is a little inconvenient. So I have a faults engineer calling on Wednesday evening after 5. Deja vu, anyone?

Anyhoo, armed with my new channels I settled in this weekend to watch the Emmy nominated Dinotopia. A world where dinosaurs and humans live together in harmony. A world where Wentworth Miller wanders around looking absolutely bloody stunning.

I love fantasy, the chance to leave the real world behind for a while. The Hallmark megaseries was brilliantly made and featured some great actors, such as Alice Krige (the Borg Queen to you Trekkers) and David Thewlis (who was in that film where Leonardo Di Caprio bared all). I'm hoping they'll release it on DVD.

Beware: These Folks May Live Next Door!

Trawling my referrer logs, as I am wont to do from time to time, I stumbled across a Yahoo! search for Kitchen Oven Fetish.

Worrying huh?

Another Day, Another Missed Appointment

I STILL don't have internet and cable as NTL didn't show up yet again.

Excuse me whilst I fume.

Just Count Them!

I spent about 5 minutes in front of the mirror last night marvelling at just how many grey hairs have appeared on my head in the last year or so. They tend to disappear when I put gel on, so it can be a bit of a shock when I brush it out in the evening. They are really wirey as well, akin to cats whiskers.

Of course I blame NTL. They didn't show up for the third time last night, so I spent my time writing a letter of complaint to their Head Office in Manchester instead. That company wouldn't know Customer Service if it crept up behind them and shoved a cucumber up their arse.

Run Away! Run Away!

I spent last Thursday and Friday bidding adieu to colleagues who didn't get jobs with the new company. Thursdays jaunt was nice and relaxed and enjoyable and I was at home by 11 o'clock and snuggled up in bed like a good boy. This was after a super curry in Brick Lane, the curry centre of London. If you have never been, I recommend it.

Friday was a different matter. I suddenly realised at 10 o'clock that I really wasn't enjoying it and had absolutely nothing in common with the people leaving besides work. All the interesting people had left early on you see and I should have gone with them. I was just clinging on for the company and the alcohol (sad bastard!).

So I ran away. Yes, I made a feint toward the cashpoint and then disappeared onto the Underground. I did have half a mind to amble about Soho, but I figured I was too drunk to amble successfully and besides all the pubs were closing.

A Moment On The Lips....

I have just had a piece of toffee cake and already I'm feeling bloated.

I blame Marie Antoinette.

Pet Hates

One of my new colleagues just ambled through reception and bellowed "Phwoar, it stinks in here." He's right. It smells like a funeral parlour as the flower arrangements are all white lillies at present, and they are getting right up my nose. "I know" I said "Do you hate lillies too?"

"No" he replied as he departed "I only hate cats, Carol Vorderman and ginger."

Must be nice to have such a short list.

Feline Shock Syndrome

I discovered, last night, that the guys in the flat below me have a cat. It hopped upon the bedroom window sill and miaowed at me at 11 o'clock last night. I wouldn't have minded but I was asleep at the time.

It is now a very wet cat.

Thinks....

The City is quiet for now. My journey to work was uneventful and I pray that the biggest disruption to London life today is the traffic diversion for the memorial service at St. Pauls. It's just around the corner from my new office, so getting to Boots for my lunch should prove interesting.

I cannot believe that a year has passed already. I was new to London then and knew nothing of blogging. It has gone like lightning for me; life has rolled on unhindered. I doubt the friends and relatives of those who died can say the same.

My thoughts are with them.

First Day Nerves

It's Monday morning. It's 8.00am. It's time to go "Aaaaaaargh!"

First proper day in my new office today and I had almost an hour this morning all on my lonesome. Don't panic Daz, you've been through worse. Just remember to breathe.

The Final Countdown

Only 5 days to go to home based internet access. I never knew how addicted I was until it was gone. I think there's a market for a 'patch' to help people overcome such an addiction, a la Nicorette. Or maybe a lozenge I can suck.

Missing: Presumed...Gone

Where oh where is Jerwin Maximo? Not only does this man have the best name ever, but his site was pretty damned fantastic. Last week at some point it disappeared off the surface of the web. No explanations. No redirection.

Droves of fans are mourning the loss of Toronto's finest blogger. Hope everythings okay Jerwin.

A One Day Course In Receptionism

Went to the new office for the day yesterday, just to see what it was like and get a feel for it in anticipation of Mondays big transfer. All the most important questions were answered. I now know who's to be avoided and who's to be befriended. I also know that Internet access is pretty unrestricted provided you don't take the piss, so I can still keep in touch with all my web-based buddies.

All my fears have been allayed. I think I'm gonna enjoy the new office.

Around London With An Ironing Board

Moving is really fun and, at the same time, really nasty. Of course you all know this. I just thought I would reaffirm it for you after my weekend of packing, unpacking, moving, lifting and cleaning.

It was such a relief to actually get underway after weeks of build up and, after navigating my vast 'To Do' list, I am finally settling into my new life as a Leyton Lad. As for the old flat, it looked like a show home by the time Dave and I had finished polishing and painting it. The landlord, whom we had never met until yesterday, came round to inspect it and was over the moon. Yipee! I get my deposit back.

On the way home from the cleanup op, I purchased an ironing board in Woolies as all the shops were about to shut and it was a necessity. I adopted the mantle of 'resident weirdo' on the Metropolitan, Jubilee and Central lines as I clutched my ironing board and tried desperately to look as normal as possible. It put me in mind of the book 'Round Ireland with A Fridge', but on a smaller scale.

Life With A Fat Pipe

I'm in a communications blackout at home as NTL can't install my line until 14th September. I'm suffering Internet withdrawal, coupled with an extreme lack of TV channels. Enforced Analogue Syndrome. How do folk survive with 5 channels? It's unnatural. I had to do a Wednesday night with no Will & Grace! Woe is me.

The only thing to cheer me so far is the arrival of my Broadband kit. A fair length of cable and a USB dongle (in a fetching blue colour) is going to give me 128kbps once my NTL box arrives. I know that isn't all that broad a band, however it's twice as quick as dialup, leaves my phoneline free and is only £14.99 a month (Hoorah for psychological pricing). Plus if I suddenly become cash rich I can upgrade to a higher speed whenever I want. Can't wait. 9 days and counting.

Buying At Bedtime

We have an Asda in Leyton that's big enough to house a squadron of B-52's. It also happens to be open 24 hours a day which is a novelty. So, when hunger pains set in whilst unpacking a box of CD's at 11 o'clock last night, I set off for my first late night shop.

It seemed really odd to be in there and I was surprised by the amount of people shopping along with me. Drunks, students, shift workers, those too lazy to shop in bulk (like me); a fair cross section of society was represented.

I think they should do Singles Shopping night. Two bottles of Coke, a roast chicken and a boyfriend all in one evening. Now that's efficient!

Muchas Gracias!

Big hugs to my family who were my removal crew and emotional support for the weekend. Love ya guys!