Encroaching on cyberspace

OK webfolk, a puzzlement for you.  Question: If you chat to someone daily online and meet them a couple of times for a drink and go over to their house for dinner and then, suddenly, they disappear from cyberspace and stop replying to texts and calls from you and various others you have since spoken to online (*draws breath in recognition of the fact that this is a very long sentence*) is it OK to either:

• Ring his workplace

or

• Drive round his house and see if he is OK

I am erring on the side of both as I am very concerned as it’s been over 8 weeks since I have heard from him. Dunno what to do – argh!

Dad’s Second Op…

…Went fine (although is was months ago now)  Thought I’d mention it for completeness.  Unfortunately, now his lungs seem to be acting up.  He’s like having a parent built by British Leyland at the moment, poor old bugger :o)

Difficult Times

Sorry it’s been so long since I’m written but I have had extremely stressful times recently.  My Dad has been in for a minor heart op which, as it turned out, didn’t work.  He has a whole new and more complicated op next week.  It’s the waiting and the inability to work that is really doing his head in and, vicariously, it’s doing all the family’s heads in too.

It’s very difficult to watch a man that has been the biggest and strongest person in your life look so small.  It’s like one of the Worlds great constants has changed.  More and more often I find myself in the position of supporting my parents rather than the other way round.  It’s a big adjustment actually.  I’ve been so wrapped up in it that when people asked me what I was doing for my birthday last week I just hadn’t thought of it.  I’m hoping to arrange something soon but it brings me on to another complication I’m having.

Ever since October last year I feel this invisible barrier between me and other people.  It’s like the connection I have with them has altered in some way and I do not know how to relate to them any more.  I can hear and see myself reacting differently, avoiding social situations and, at work, finding it very difficult to do anything that involves working with other people.  As such, even though I feel I am inflicting it myself, I feel more and more isolated.  I’m very scared that if I told a GP all of this and more they’d just attempt to medicate or sign me off.  Unfortunately, I am in a very small department at work and I owe my boss so much for the way she helped me last year, protecting me from a lot of extra stress in the office.

So it’s all a bit uphill.  I’m glad of this as an output really.  I’ll try and make the next post more upbeat I promise.

Snow!

Even I have to admit that the whole world looks fantastically pretty in white.  I’m avoiding the ice though as I always fall on my ass.  Fact.

Positive Psychology

Greetings from a rather cold and damp Camberley where I am currently attending a sales kick off meeting.  The general idea is to motivate the team to go sell stuff in 2008.  For me, this means I get to present which used to scare the crap out of me but I’m getting over it.  Biggest crowd thus far has been 80 people (which made me sweat a bit) but thankfully there is nothing of that size this time.  I just pray they stay awake!

The team building activity this time (there always is one) focussed on positive psychology which is an interesting concept.  It is apparently based on scientific fact and intends to make your life a happier one.  Sounds interesting, so I’m going to investigate.  I’ll try anything once.  How it related to us sorting packs of cards in teams is beyond me though.

Better dash, I have to make myself look presentable for a gala dinner this evening.

Excited about radio? How strange!

I’ve finally joined the DAB era.  I was getting a little annoyed by my FM clock radio as its reception of certain radio stations, Radio 1 for example, was dependent upon where I was laying in bed.  As such, most mornings I was greeted by white noise as an alarm which doesn’t exactly inspire you to hop out of bed.  In fact I’m sure somewhere I read it makes you sleep, so it was counterproductive as an alarm.

I have replaced it with a shiny DAB/iPod dock which, it transpired this morning, is capable of far greater volume that the old clock radio.  I must have cleared the bed by a foot or so when it bellowed in my ear this morning.  Rapid reading of the manual and much button pressing will hopefully mean tomorrow is a more gentle awakening.

So despite all that I have to say DAB has made the experience of radio quite a bit different.  I found myself sitting in bed listening to Radio 7 whilst I worked through stuff on my laptop where I would usually be using iTunes.  Its a medium I had overlook, short of the daily wake up call, but I think this new-fangled radio thing might just catch on ;o)

Geek genetics will out

Try as I might, I never manage to disguise my love of gadgetry for very long.  I think it is an adult manifestation of a child fascination with wizards.  Technology is as close as I can get to “I turn you into a pig!”

So today has been rounded off with the sheer excitement of installing a BluRay player and a new surround sound system.  Well the installing is actually always quite stressy, but bathing in the ambient glow of the end result is so satisfying I could purr.

First film up on the system was Iron Man.  Three cheers for the man who dug Mr Downey Jr. out of his drug addled past, it was a fantastic film.  Next on the list is Dark Knight.  I can’t believe I’ve lasted this long without seeing it, and me a Batman fan too.  Tsk tsk.

Out of the blue

A lot has happened in the past year, which I kind of intimated in my last post and one of these things was meeting a lad who I really liked.  Unfortunately, he had a fair amount of mental turmoil to go through in his private life.  He didn’t feel able to talk to me, for whatever reason and went off to have his crisis and, so I thought, move on with his life as I’d not heard anything in ages.

I’d not expected to hear from him again so I took him off the mobile, Facebook etc. last weekend.  So I was most surprised to get a message from him just this evening.  I’m sort of quite excited and fairly apprehensive at the same time.  I’d just about got over the whirlwind of meeting him and then not seeing him so I’m very cautious.  We shall see.

Update: He has managed to revert to type within a week and can’t be arsed to make an effort.  I’m glad I prepared myself for that!

New Year, New Direction

It always seems that when I start writing again on here it’s because I can’t think of anything else to do.  I think 2008 took a fair chunk out of me.  Trouble is I didn’t notice it until Christmas when I actually sat down and unwound for the first time in about 6 months.  This led to my body seizing the opportunity to get three colds and a whole host of other aches and pains just to punish me for neglecting it all year long.

To think I have been the one bleating about not being career minded for years!

Well not any longer.  I’ve only been back to work 48 hours this year and I can already find myself getting stressed.  Makes for some nasty black pits in the evenings.  Still I don’t want this to be all doom an gloom, I have the resolve to change my world.  It’s been a bit too much like Groundhog Day recently and the work has stopped me interacting with people, with my friends.  Unforgiveable really.  Then you notice they’ve all moved on and you haven’t. Bum.

So this year is going to be about people.  Hopefully one of those might want to share my life.  That would be nice.  Any offers?

Stop Press: Apple do something nice (For once….)

Okay so I’m a staunch PC supporter so the anti-Appleisms come far too easy to my lips.  However, give them their dues they have finally unlocked the music I have bought and allowed me to use it on any MP3 player I choose, not just one they have spawned.

Of course I have to pay extra for the privilege, but then there’s no such thing as a free lunch I suppose.  Whatever next?   A version of iTunes that doesn’t gobble up systems resources?

Flatpack Assembler for hire...

As P and I have decided to stick with a very good friendship rather than anything more, I have had to move into my own room once again. Storage space was woeful in there, so I have had to avail myself of the delights of catalogue store self-assembly furniture.

I'm getting pretty gosh darned skillful with flatpack goods. After doing my apprenticeship helping build the kitchen that my Dad then installed for us a while back, I'm finding that I can, more often than not, assemble things with only a cursory glance over the instructions. Not bad for me. I've come a long way since that day in 1997 when I told my Dad I'd bought a toolbox and hammer. His first reaction was "What do you want with those?" before collapsing into fits of laughter.

Last night I managed to bash out a chest of drawers and a shoe cabinet (it's not as camp as it sounds) for my bedroom in under an hour and a half. I'm sad to say that I was quite exhilirated by that result. I hope that doesn't mean that flatpack assembly is addictive, otherwise by the end of the year we'll be impeded from moving around the house by my collection of unstylish, cheap but nevertheless well-constructed furniture.

Lake Break

Just got back from a visit to the Lake District. I have to say that, even though I remembered from my previous visit that the scenery there was stunning, I was still left completely taken aback by its beauty. One week just wasn't enough.

I'd move there tomorrow if it wasn't for my student debt and complete lack of farming skills.